you know i'm feeling much better again today :) Thanks to the support from my friends, especially paul... stayed up until 4am chatting. i'm getting back to my old self again, i think it was probably just one major glitch in that whole docking sequence, or whatever i said :-p

ah well, i'm going to try and catch up on that sleep later today. this is like my third last full day before i head off... woah. later. skeet.

can you believe some people are buying blogger tshirts... ahh, actually, whatever turns them on i suppose. heck, why do we buy anything. *sigh* i feel strange today, disconnected from the world, unsure of purpose, strangled by complicated stuff, which i won't bother to go into :) but heck that's just life isn't it... sometimes we feel totally engaged with life, docked in its meaning docking bay, totally gone through the airlock (thanks paul for the space help).. and others, we're floating around, just... in nothingness... unsure why, unsure how, unsure where we'll get to, no hope, blah.

i'm sure i'll be docked in again pretty shortly, but for now, i guess i'll make the most of floating about. am i talking complete crap here? thought so... but hey. could be worse, i'm just thinking too much. went downtown today, bought some shit for my trip... no, not that kinda shit... like, batteries and film, and cds, and shampoo :Þ had a bad stomache ache today, wanted to cut it out to relieve the pain, didn't though ;) anyways, enough of mah bitchin & whinin.. today is a good day, so they say, so we'll make the most, pass me some toast. skeet.

*yawn* i'm so sleepy... almost fell asleep when i was watching frasier. i'm going to go to bed at 8pm tonight... yes... eight pee em. :Þ i'm crazy, yup, but i seriously need the sleep (and psst.. sheila.. you need to get more sleep too! ;)). It's been an uneventful day... started packing though. which makes the trip seem eeeeven more closer. put all my books away in my bag, so that's that sorted out. woooooooo! vacation just around the corner ;-) hehe. well, it's just a short update for now. then i'm away to zzzzz land. after a boiling hot bath (yeah, boiling... so hot it peels the skin off! ha!). i love them... just to lie then are feel boiled, burned, listening to ac/dc.. helps you sleep as well.. the body temperature gets raised, and then when i come back into my chilled room, it'll drop, relaxing me, making me sleepy :) skeet.

Many thanks to the awesome Eugene for mentioning me and my blog on his linkage page... hehe, and this is especially for you man:

ahhh goodness.. there's a show on channel four right now.. supposed to be a real life thing, showing the life of the people in bad areas and council estates in the UK... it's so noisy and rude.. yuck... but really good, well done etc... :)

okay... later :-p ya i'm bored

in primary school (for you US people, that was when i was like... 4 years old to 11 years old) we used to sing a song at the end of each year... and it never actually meant anything until i had to leave for high school, but it's such a great song, that helps with transitions :) I don't even remember the words except:

"one more step along the world i go, one more step along the world i go, from the old things to the new, keep me travellin along with you".

ahh, the words already bring me comfort :) i'm reminded that getting away from the old things isn't really bad... but good. no, i'm not talking about my trip.. i mean life in general. now, i'm grown up, ready to make decisions for myself, manage my life. it's scary, but great, very liberating... and although i have no idea where my life is going to go, well hey that's fine, because i think that as a person, i can cope quite well in steering myself onto the best path for me :-)

don't drugs suck :-\ ahhh... yet again someone i know (well, bah, knew) has gone onto drugs... but not even anything soft. like heroin or some shit. stupid dick. i don't get the whole thing... why do people even want to mess with it. when i was 15, i knew a girl who overdosed, died... could easily happen to anyone. ahhhhh . :-( not much i can say really, but that's depressing. right now my weird neighbors are ploughing their... gravel!??! yeah... idiots... and annoying me. i'm fighting back though, with loud music... black sabbath is away to go on.. haha.. yup, on now... hehe. later. skeet.

wow, my room is a mess. i guess i better clean it up before i leave. :-\ ah well.. i'm feeling really bored right now, i hate how time can pass so slowly. and i'm feeling ever so slightly nervous about my upcoming trip.. not much, i just keep thinking i'll get lost ;-)

i'm pretty sure a lot of my friends have forgotten i'm going... haven't saw them in a while, and i can't get in touch with most :( so i guess my bon voyage thing won't be happening... but hey that's life. woah... right now i got a weird feeling, like.. a sinking feeling. yuck. skeet.

how cool is paul, for the cool things he says... how cool is sheila, for the cool things she says, and for the awesome logos she makes... and how cool is frank, for mentioning me in his blog! and how cool are all the people i know on aim. makes me smile... big big smile :) hehe

exactly a week from now, i'll be waiting in heathrow airport on my flight to washington... hours after that, i'll be there... in the usa... ready to take on the country! hehe. i can't wait... but of course there's a lot i'm going to miss about being home. tv, sleep, AIM, and my awesome friends from my hometown.

can't think of anything else now.. i'll write more later. yay. and hey, if you get a min why not email me? i woke up to no emails :( hehe..skeet.

okay, today sucked. no, not like a dyson. not even like a whore. it sucked like a blowfish. ahh. so yeah, it was a nice day... the sun was out, and the way the light caught the trees and shone on the sidewalks, it reminded me of a nice sunny florida day (haha, maybe a slight exaggeration). Then I got in town, and finally got my hair cut... i had to go to this different place, though... called "City Barbers". i should have known by the title what i was in for. a peroxide blonde woman pulled me over to an old chair, stuck a sheet over me, then got out her clippers which had a smell like turpentine. after 2 minutes, she got out this pink gooey yucky hairgel, which smelled so rancid.. and i had to walk about town with it on my head. never again.

but hey, that's my haircut done, and i'm glad. i hate getting them. and so i reached home, suddenly got a headache (really, really throbbing)... and a stomach ache. so i went to bed, and slept for 5 or 6 hours. and now i just feel weird, slightly discombobulated, and ahh.... i hate my headache.

a great thought however, is that a week today I'll be in London, ready to leave for Washington DC.. yay! it totally can't come soon enough. i've never wanted to get out of this town so badly... but hey there's a few people here (you know who you are :Þ) who i'm going to really miss... the true friends. talking of that, hey paul, if you're reading, i bought that CD today :) awesome stuff... i won't mention it here for the risk of letting anyone know the name of a cool band ;-) hehe i'm so childish.

i want to tell all you people out there, please take some time out of your busy life to read frank's blog... it's great, as ever. it's been a while since i plugged it in my own blog, so i've done that now. it's always been one of my absolute favorite reads... even though it makes me sigh, because i realise i could never match the writing :) later people... skeet.

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