regular entries will resume tomorrow, as a mark of respect.

on a side note, a huge happy birthday to my wonderful friend, sheila.

today is such an awful day.

i cannot believe what's happened - i watched just completely amazed.

*sigh*

i had such a crap day... woke up blue, got frustrated with my lack of web design talents later on, and then started to wallow in some good old fashioned self pity. i'll get over it though - one of those silly nights. i just need my bed and some sad songs. i know in the morning this mood will have passed. it better have.

but... thank you so much, steven! you were such good company online and you always say the best things. you are truly one of the most awesome people i know. and how long have we known each other? gee... not too long and you are such a great friend. :-) i thank you so much... and i'm just sorry you had to put up with a little whining from me :-p

i suck at designing my blog - today i couldn't get a good design going. grr, i'm frustrated. woke up kinda blue, as well - but now i'm trying to dissolve the mood with music. why can't i be a steven, or a frank, or a jodee... and be able to design lovely sites :( argh. i'll have to settle with being only good at... hrmm, let's see :-p nothing.

jill is the most awesome girl i know! oh my goodness! JILL YOU ARE SO AWESOME :) :) :)... she sent me a wonderful cd in the post and i got it this morning... along with the grooviest card i ever saw! (jill, that chair is amazingly sexy! ;)) and it meant so much to me :) :) it really brightened up my day. thank you sooooooo much jill! missing you too... good luck in Cheeseland! :) hehe. Expect various British cheer in the mail shortly ;)

well, i'm not sure what to do now... noone is online, i have no money to go anywhere and my web site design is going nowhere. i guess i'll watch some tv and... i dunno!! :Þ and to steven - dude, good luck with college today! I hope you have the best time :) i'm gonna eat now, i guess ...


There goes my old girlfriend
There's another diamond ring
And of all those late night promises
I guess they don't mean a thing

So baby, what's the story
Did you find another man
Is it easy to sleep in the bed that we made
When you don't look back I guess
The feelings start to fade away

I used to feel your fire
But now it's cold inside
And you're back on the street
Like you didn't miss a beat, yeah

Tell me what it takes to let you go
Tell me how the pain's supposed to go
Tell me how it is that you can sleep
In the night, without thinkin' you lost
Everything that was good in your life
To the toss of the dice
Tell me what it takes to let you go
Yeah,

Girl, before I met you, I was F.I.N.E. fine
But your love made me a prisoner
Yeah, my heart's been doing time
You spent me up like money
A then you hung me out to dry
It was easy to keep all your lies in disguise
'Cause you had me in deep
With the devil in your eyes

Tell me that you're happy that you're on your own
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Tell me that it's better when you're all alone
Tell me that your body doesn't miss my touch
Tell me that my lovin' didn't mean that much
Tell me you ain't dying
When you're cryin' for me

Tell me who's to blame for thinkin' twice...no no no no
'Cause I don't wanna burn in paradise
Oooh, I don't, I don't no I don't wanna burn in paradise
let it go, let it go...
I don't wanna burn....

- what it takes, aerosmith

*sigh*

nothing ever turns out right. and life is so unfair.